The Kid Mero Dismisses Tool’s ‘Lateralus’: “Creed And Tool Are Interchangeable In My Mind Because They’re So…”

Comedian and podcaster The Kid Mero has shared a blunt—and predictably unfiltered—take on Tool, taking aim at the band’s critically acclaimed 2001 album “Lateralus” during a recent Pitchfork guest editor feature.

Mero, who also has a background in music journalism through his work with Noisey, was tasked with ranking albums against Pitchfork’s original reviews. When it came to “Lateralus”, his response was anything but measured.

He said:

“‘Lateralus’ by Tool. You know what I’m saying? Tool. And I am going to go right and give that a 1.5, ’cause I hate motherfcking Tool. God damn, them motherfckers suck, boy. Have you ever listened to that shit? Like for real, for real? If I gave you a porcupine and I was like, ‘Eat this sh*t alive, try to enjoy it,’ you’d be like, ‘No there’s no way I can enjoy this, man.’ This is… this is Tool, man. Band name says it all. I hope y’all also gave Tool a 1.”

When informed that Pitchfork originally rated the album a 1.9, Mero doubled down, suggesting even that score was generous.

“Whoever did that was being nice. They might know Scott Stapp. You know what I’m saying? Oh no, that’s the guy from Creed. My bad. See, they’re so ass that they are interchangeable in my mind. Creed and Tool are both interchangeable in my mind because they’re so ass.”

After being corrected on Maynard James Keenan’s name, Mero continued:

“Maynard James Keenan, some sht like that. He has a weird-ass Civil War era name. I’m sorry man, if you put your heart and soul into this sht, I apologize, but this sh*t is ass.”

The comments quickly circulated online, adding yet another entry to the long-running culture war of divisive takes on Tool’s legacy and progressive metal in general.

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